Why am i here?

Seriously. why? i feel like a big ol' failure.
i cant really take anything anymore.
and im fighting. literally holding on to the chair trying not to go upstairs and purge.
its not okay anymore.
I told my schools social worker about it and she told me that i have no choice but to tell my parents this weekend.
whats the point?
they wont care. i just wanna give up.
lie down for a while.
forget about the world.
but then again i want to fight.
but the depression kills the urge to fight and im back to square one.
fat, lazy, stupid, and usless.
Why do i even let myself get like this.
i need to stop. but then again. i dont want to.
why does this have to be so hard.
why me?
are they right when they say its more than a food issue?
i really dont think it is.
i just hate the act of eating.
i always give into my depression. pathetic. i know.
i bet i weigh about 600 pounds.
someone. anyone. please take the food away.
i dont wanna be like this anymore.
i FUCKING HATE myself.
i miss the little girl who wanted it all. but i turned out to be the fat friend who gets nothing. nothing at all. abused and misused and raped and bullied and Self injures and I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE.
why am i so fucked up?
and why would talking to someone make me better.
it wont.
thatts just it.
so im gonna waste my  parents money for nothing.....
stupid me.
you cant do anything right.