New start? i think so. :)

Sooo seeing that soccer starts in 1 week

(i'm so excited!)

i'm restarting my 150 day diet.

and since my parents are really on me to exercise before the season starts

(i'm more on me than my rents)

 it seems like the perfect time to restart. So i'm gonna :) 

Day One: Fast

I'm only 3 hours in but i have a good feeling about today. i hope it all goes well. Already at 2:30 in the morning my sister wanted me to make her a grilled cheese sandwich but i refused to because that might of meant me falling into a binge. they've been so easily triggered lately that i didnt wanna risk it. So i didnt and i got out of the kitchen as fast as i could.

I'm rather excited to succeed. i KNOW i can do it. theres no telling what i can do with a little confidence and courage.

Also, i was told by a friend that we can go 70 days without food and still survive. i take that challenge. but not with just water and tea. i'm going to do a liquid fast

(mostly water, tea, hot cocoa, milk, coffee and orange juice)

and still stay under my calorie intake for my diet.

Meaning today is an all tea and water day.

But no worries i paint my room today that should take up alot of time :)

Lifeee :)

So i guess i just wanted to talk a little about my life and whats going on. Lately my friends and my sister have been trying to push me into recovery and what they dont understand is that i wont be able to recover until i WANT to recover. and quite frankly i dont wanna recover just yet or ever. but tonight i had a heart to heart with one of my friends i havent spoke to in a while. We talked about her family (which is the definition of disaster) and how she felt about it. she burst out in tears on my bed and i felt so badd :( But before all the tears i definately had a fun day with her! we dressed up in hats and crazy glasses and took my light saver thing all around town in the rain. we looked crazyy!!! but thats the fun part :) other than that not much else is going on besides soccer and painting my room.  Oh and i have a best meeting on Wednesday. but those arent to fun. haha.  as the Spanish people would say Buenos noches! ( ihopethatswhat they would say XD)