Night terrors? I couldnt be so lucky.

So i went to bed early yesterday around 11ish.
and everything was alright. but then i woke up.
4 o'clock something isnt right.
My head is pounding i stagger to the bathroom.
Pass out. then wake up 5 minutes later and start puking blood.
Great.
Not only was i puking blood my heart was beating at the speed of light and i could tell i was severely dehydrated.
All i could think about was water. water. water.
I couldnt yell for help. not that i wouldve wanted to my cuts were showing and no one needs to know that i cut just one more thing i'll get yelled at for.
But anyways at about 5am i crawled back to my bedroom (with my waterbottles) and dragged my garbage bin by my bed and kept the light on. i can remember how hard it was to breathe it was really really scary.
I thought i was going to die.
i shouldve yelled for help.
But then at 11am i woke up alive. cuddled with three empty waterbottles and my light on with the garbage bin near my bed.
i guess im lucky. but im scared. i dont wanna tell my dad. tho i probably should.
i just dont want him disapointed in me. although i dont know why i even try.
i disapoint everyone else. whats one more person?
<3Saydeee