It started terrible and ended even worse. I'm gonna be fat forever i swear.
First i had a huge bowl of cereal before i went running -_-
then we dropped my brother off at dads house
when we got back my mom made me eat a sandwich.
Shower purging...its not pretty.
then i was fine until i got really hungry. whatthefuck?
so i had a banana and a yogert.
i was still hungry.
ugh. food is seriously controlling me.
thankfully we went to walmart so i couldnt eat anything else.
but then we had tacos for dinner.... and then blueberries and cream. -_-
my mom left to go check on my grandpa and my sister was sitting in the living room so i purged in the backyard.
when my mom got back we had cantelope. which doesnt bother me as much but wow. im such a pig.
then 2 hours later...wheat thins milk and soybeans.
oh and i had two lollipops to keep me from bingeing.
What happened to my control?!
But in other news... my mom gave me a bulimia talk last night and then today she called me fat. whatthefuck? my family is so confusing. i cant wait to go home so i can skip meals and get my control back. i'll have to fast for a week to clear this up. whatever. my own fault. oh and my mom wouldnt let me exercise after my run either!!!! this is so screwed up.
Oh and i was talking to my old friend about the good ole days...and i think this isnt the first time i've had an eating disorder...i guess we forget the things we dont wanna remember. in the 7th grade i refused to eat just about anything and i was borderline anorexic...well probably just anorexic. its just weird to think about. was that really me?
Days to go: not enough.
Pounds to go: 5,000
ugh. here comes disappointment.
:(
<3Saydeee
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